So as some of you know, I'm getting married next month. The 29th to be exact. I think I'm going through that mild freakout stage. I know this girl is right for me, and our relationship gets stronger and stronger every day... but the awesome bachelor inside me can't help but overshadow the responsible adult and force me into "panic" mode. I'm going fishing this weekend with my family (minus my crazy mother) and my fiancee' will be there but it will be such a relaxed setting -- and no one is allowed to talk about the wedding all weekend, that's the rule. How did you some of you married chums handle this feeling if you went through with it? Also, money is tight in this economy, I was banking on the fact I could work lots of OT this summer, but we have a NO OT policy and they cut our profit sharing. Lame. We're getting by, all this detailing has been helping but I'm still having to buy lots of things to get the business running. I dunno, my mind has been all over the place all week. Even just little escapes to drive up to Ken's shop and chill with him for 30 minutes while buying a polisher are great for my mind... Allllll over the place. I think I need like 10,000 of these prescribed. :chillpill::chillpill::chillpill::chillpill: :chillpill::chillpill::chillpill::chillpill:
First of all, better make sure your future wife doesn't read your post. Second of all, I did not have this feeling before I got married. If you know it's right, then it's right. If you have to think twice about it, don't do it. You're getting married. Not something to take lightly. You're either all in, or you're not. That's the way I see it. And why would your bachelor life have to end? The only thing you won't be able to do is have sex with other women. For the rest, it's all the same!
I'm all in, no doubts about the marriage working. I think part of it is me listening to my friends/peers about how young I am. They think that no matter who it is, how the relationship works, or ANY circumstance that NO one is to get married before they're 25. I'm 21 and she's turning 24 this month.
Have you every tried wetsanding? Do you remember the first time you had to put paper to paint? I remember I was freaked out about it, I kept thinking I can do this, but I can also ruin this guys car:yikes:. I stopped for a minute and thought logically about what I was about to do, and I realized that I had read enough info and watched enough videos to do this properly... even though I didnt know what I was doing, I did know what I was doing, sounds odd but just have confidence in what you want to do. After I did my first tiny scratch my wetsanding confidence level skyrocketed... the biggest part is taking the first step. Im not comparing wetsanding to marrige but the same feelings can apply in vastly different situations. YOU KNOW what your doing, YOU KNOW this is the girl for you so just go make it work, the rest will be history!
21 and already getting married? WOAH! im gonna have to side with your friends on this one. Best of luck to you tho!
I get that response a lot -- people don't know our relationship though. Before I met her, I planned on staying a bachelor my whole life and being awesome forever. As soon as her and I met and started dating, all I wanted was to marry this girl and spend my life with her. It's funny how things change once you meet the right person.
LMAO.....the panic stage is perfectly normal. The best thing to do is talk about it. I went through the same thing. No one that I knew, even my family, thought that I would ever get married because I was a "big time player". Heck, I didn't either until I met my wife. Everyday closer to the wedding I kept picturing every girl I was with and the memories that came with it. My "clubbin" days etc...I felt like my life was ending but it was really just beginning. Marriage is the best thing that happened to me and I wish you the same. Don't worry because everything will be better than you imagined.
This is why i love this forum. Marriage being equated with wet sanding for the first time....i love it. Best of luck to you Lifemal!
Well, let me ask you this. Do you have any solid evidence that you both will not be ok? (that's the therapist in me asking)
Financially (by that I mean total financial ruin as opposed to the normal stress that 80% of the population is feeling right now), in your relationship, or any other way.
Well, we combined accounts a while ago, and things are just tight with this economy, her hours were cut, I get no bonuses and no chance to work overtime. My healthcare costs more now, blah blah. Just bad timing to get married. Oh, the wedding bills. So many bills. We'll be fine and get through it, just have to pay off the rest of the wedding stuff and we'll be pretty much set. It's just the financial stress most people are seeing. We aren't backwards/missing bill dates, and I don't forsee that happening any time soon. We both have fairly good jobs with a modest pay (combined we're under $30/hr, kinda sucks lol) but in our area cost of living isn't insane.
Lifemal, mixed feelings on this topic.... I'm getting married in a few weeks too. I was not worried or thinking about things until you brought this up.... then I became worried too.... then I thought about how I coped and thinking that together with the significant other you could overcome things and its just another phase in life....and realized that I should delay and leave the real panic to when you have your first child... so in the scheme of things, I guess that's how I coped. Not sure if that helps but bottom-line is that in the grand scheme of things people get over it and overcome and move on to the next big challenge. Congrats and best wishes
So now you both get the opportunity to build and strengthen a unified front through marriage and deal with the stresses of today as a unit and support each other. Research shows that married people deal better with stress (including in today's economic downturns), live longer, have better health, suffer less from depression, etc. Enjoy the experience my friend, you are about to add about 3-5 years to your life expectancy. :thumb:
Congrats to you as well! I think this trip relaxing, drinking and fishing will really help. I went sailing with my dad out in the bay on the 4th and that really helped. He said we were great together and our marriage will be awesome. So that helped. It's mostly me just listening to my pessimistic mother, and a lot of my pessimistic friends.
Its tough not to be a litle worried. Money is a big thing in relationships, and sometimes it can break them. But if the both of you are working on things together, and you communicate with one another, things will be fine. I work a lot so my wife can be a stay at home mom. (we have twins BTW). Its nuts be at least she can raise the kids how she seems fit. Money isnt too tight for us, but the bills that come in can seem like a burden. I told her it will take time, but if we keep on the right track, we will become financially better as we move on. We budget a lot including groceries, and I have budgeted my money a whole lot better. I too knew she was the woman for me when I met her, but I was 30 when I got married. Just keep your head up, work things out together, and you both will be fine. Congrats, good luck, and best wishes my friend.
There are always people, family included that would like to see a couple fail. This is where you guys have a chance to show a unified front. Don't let the age thing be a factor, my wife and I married at 22 and we are still here together, while some of our friends who got married later are now divorced, so age is really not a decisive factor in marriage. In fact, you have more time to build your life together and make use of that energy that comes with younger years.
